I used to be a really nice person.

I did. I was always described as "a sweet girl with a big heart," but lately I feel my inner monster has been showing it's ugly face a lot more.

Maybe it's all of the stuff I've been dealing with the past two months, or maybe it's just me getting older and learning a lot about people and life, even if I don't like it. Some people bring out the mean in me more than others, and it's so not fair to them. It's not like they're mean to me, they just have personality traits that clash with mine, and that's not their fault.

So if I recognize this as a trigger, I should be able to control it, right? wrong. I wish it worked that way. Unfortunately I find that I say things before I have a chance to think about it, and then my insanely guilty conscience will regret it for the entire day, or days even until I can fix it. This cycle truly sucks. I say something, it eats at me until I am forgiven, and then I start writing blogs about wondering where that nice person I used to be disappeared to.

Well whatever the reason, I need to try to get back to that sweet person again. It's the version of me I really liked, and if I start acting mean again, and if it's directed at you (whomever you are) then you need to call me out on. I promise it will make me feel so bad I will be the nicest person ever to you, and that's what I need to be.

Birthday Week 2008

Yes, this Saturday I will turn 25. Am I freaking out about being a quarter of a century old? Yeah, maybe a little.

However, as is tradition, I don't allow myself just one day to celebrate my being born. I take a week. I don't take vacation. Ever. So Birthday Week is like taking an official vacation from everything I normally worry about. I feel free to rebel against my boss, give in to anything I want, and generally focus completely on myself. Selfish? probably. Childish? Definitely. But it's what I do, and I like it. So here's a list of Birthday Week things I will definitely be doing:

1. I will rebel against my evil boss's wish to stay close and "keep it somewhere quick" for my birthday luncheon and go to California Pizza Kitchen for a white pizza, because it's my birthday lunch, dammit.
2. I will reject anyone who befriends me on facebook that I feel might just be collecting me for their numbers. I do not like to be collected, and this week it is NOT allowed.
3.I will not feel bad about anything, ever, in any situation until midnight Saturday night, because my guilty conscience is on vacation.
4. I will buy myself something pretty, every day if I so choose, and wear it on my birthday.
5. I won't take any advice that contradicts with what I really want to do. I do this often anyway, but this week it won't even be considered.
6. I will shamelessly blow off anyone if I'd rather be at home watching season 3 of the OC and eating icecream with my dog.

It's only once a year, so you'll get over it. and let's be honest, I'll never be able to be that guilt-free so I probably can't even pull it off. I'm off to Superior Grill to have a monday margarita.

Lord, Beer Me Strength

I think the general concensus of the day at my office is that it sucked. Today is one of those days where I would love to go get a beer, sit outside with a good friend, and talk about how much I miss the drama that has been in my life for the past month or so even though I'll tell people I'm glad it's over.

There's just one problem.

I don't like beer. I've never acquired a taste for it. I was discussing this with Lucy after an impromptu dinner at this great little place in my neighborhood called Mudtown (please go check it out, it's amazing. It's in Cahaba Heights.), and while she ordered a bud light with her burger, I was forced to choose something a little less conventional for such a meal. A margarita. Don't get me wrong-I do love a marg on a hot summer evening (or a chilly fall, or a cold winter, or whenever really) but I sat there feeling just wrong about it.

Lucy's best advice for me was that I needed to "start with something like a corona-and work your way down." I've had a corona or two before, but the bitter taste of beer always left me wondering why. I'm soon entering my 25th year, and as a southern woman with a booming social life more than ever, I feel it's time for me to embrace what I should have learned to love in college, and start drinking beer. I need advice on how to become a "beer drinker" and what are the differences? Naive, I know, but I feel like it's a crucial step in welcoming my impending (gulp) mid-twenties.

Any help would be appreciated. Now I'm going to clean up my office and kiss this forsaken work day goodbye.

I can't help but notice...

How irritated I get when I see people who post things on celebrity myspace walls. Sure, I'm "friends" with Zach Braff on the 'space, but do I really think we're friends? do I really think he'll answer my mundane question about season 3 episode 18 of scrubs (which I don't know which one that is, just a random pick)? No. I do not even think that my question will make it to his goofy looking eyes because it will be buried in an hour by other people's mundane questions.

So I ask him to be my "friend" and his assistant's assistant's assistant says ok, and every once in a while I get a sneak peak of a new scrubs episode via bullitan post. I'm pretty satisfied with that. But when I check out a new artist I'm looking into and I see all of these people saying "please come to podunk, delaware! I love you so much! I hope you have a wonderul weekend...blah blah blah..." I have to wonder, are they looking for a response? is Dave Matthews checking his myspace between his gazillion show summer tour to say "sure thing, I love Podunk, Delaware, let me book something right now!"?

Maybe all of these "space" cadets are really just wanting to have an outlet to say whatever it is that they think they would say if they actually got to meet so and so to his/her face, and they know deep down inside that they're not going to get any attention back. who knows? Maybe I'll give zach a message one day about how I appreciate his taste in music and he'll give me a nod back...one can only dream....

Something happened...but I still couldn't tell you what it was

So John blogged about when we went to see "The Happening", and since he told me I couldn't get a blog shout out until I created one too, this one's for you, buddy.

If you were thinking that M. Night whats-his-name always disappoints lately, but thought "hey-I'll give him one more try," don't-you were right the first time. Somehow I left the theater thinking that I had just seen a 2 hour subtle message about global warming-much like that time I went to see the Blue Man Group.

Mark Walhberg is entertaining enough, and there are some parts that will make you watch through your fingers,(creepy old woman, creepy old house) but all in all "The Happening" didn't make anything happen for me.

And where was M. Night in this one? I guess even he didn't want to make an appearence in this disaster...